Train dicks

The first offender was a generic plump business dick. Who basically used a second unreserved seat as his own personal table. While letting other people stand. Guiltlessly. Welcome to the big society.


This second one was a pretty awesome dude who had EVERY APPLE PRODUCT EVER MADE AND WANTED EVERYONE TO SEE. in the picture you can only see his iPad 2 and iPhone 4 but he also pointlessly took out his MacBook for a bit too. Burk.

The black dog (2011)

Sausaroni cheese

Nice.

Excellent.

Great foreword.

I started painting today again

It's about the black dog. I am keeping it honest, only using the essential and it'll probably be unappealing. Which is more natural.

Thoughts. Can't sleep.

There is no art. No artists. Nothing. It's all construction. Framework. People draw stuff. People on the phone doodle screw it up and put it in the bin. Some people paint with watercolours because of tradition. It's about how embarrassed of your waste product you are and how much you like to show boat. Showboaters employ tricks, method, prices, lighting, backrubs, lies and manufacture concept. Other people write on toilet Walls. None of it matters. Cave men didn't sell paintings they told stories and ate their wives. Kind of like (name removed). It's not the point. Anyone can do anything. They just might not like what they do. If they do then they probably don't mean it anyway.

best anecdote ever. seriously. you have my permission to use it to amaze dinner guests.

once i booked a taxi and i was so paranoid about giving my real name that i said my name was peter and then the guy turn up and was like "peter" and i was like "huh what?" and (insert name) who i was with subtly reminded me.

then later i booked another taxi in the name of simon and the same guy turned up and just looked at me.

(i know right. best ever.)

Steak day (inadvertently)

I've had 2 steaks today. A bit weird. Bit good. I could sleep for about a week.

Astoundingly naive local magazine.

In our just slightly cynical times it amazes me that someone could 1. Create such a semiotically naive front cover and 2. Such a naive introduction for a local magazine. Especially consider '14 years in the business...'

Unbelievable.

I made this pony for a 3 year old

And I have to say, if she's ever SEEN a horse before I might be in serious trouble. Haha.

i was going to write something boring about music video censorship.

but i didn't. but the point is that i could have done.

Cheese day

Got up in some cheese.

Leaked video of Black OPs mission.

Press release.

Mcrancid films has been working on a war documentary film containing combat footage obtained through undisclosed sources. The budget was £2.4 Million but over ran by £1.3 million. The documentary will be released soon.

Dust piggies and lunch.

Please for the love of god don't read my blog then try and add me personally on Facebook, because I really don't see the point. And if you do, then you maybe need to have a think about some stuff.

Oh you think you're so clever

Another good reason to be a vegetarian. (which I'm not by the way)

This is fun :)

There is a website where you can generate a random bullshit artists statement. It reads kind of just like the booklet from the Fine art degree show... look at the photo below and pick your favourite explanation for the "work".

1.My work explores the relationship between emerging sexualities and emotional memories.

With influences as diverse as Blake and John Lennon, new synergies are created from both traditional and modern layers.

Ever since I was a teenager I have been fascinated by the traditional understanding of the human condition. What starts out as triumph soon becomes corroded into a dialectic of temptation, leaving only a sense of nihilism and the chance of a new synthesis.

As spatial forms become frozen through diligent and personal practice, the viewer is left with an insight into the limits of our world.

2. My work explores the relationship between acquired synesthesia and midlife subcultures.

With influences as diverse as Nietzsche and John Cage, new synergies are generated from both explicit and implicit layers.

Ever since I was a teenager I have been fascinated by the theoretical limits of the human condition. What starts out as triumph soon becomes corrupted into a cacophony of lust, leaving only a sense of decadence and the possibility of a new understanding.

As spatial impressions become clarified through diligent and diverse practice, the viewer is left with a statement of the limits of our condition.

3. My work explores the relationship between gender politics and life as perfomance.

With influences as diverse as Kierkegaard and Frida Kahlo, new tensions are crafted from both explicit and implicit layers.

Ever since I was a student I have been fascinated by the theoretical limits of relationships. What starts out as vision soon becomes corrupted into a cacophony of temptation, leaving only a sense of nihilism and the chance of a new reality.

As spatial phenomena become clarified through boundaried and critical practice, the viewer is left with an insight into the possibilities of our future.

-- seriously. this IS JUST LIKE the crap people wrote at the degree show. not me however. i just wrote factual crap.

Owls = awesome.

Solemn and harrowing toe nail photography.

If you feel affected by the issues raised in this photo then there is help available (not on here).

Yawn.

So. Quite tired today. Got lots done. Still valiantly trying to get the next dust piggies book finished. It annoys me that I have to get other people to do forewords and it delays the whole process. Otherwise I'd have got them all out by now. Other people slow everything. I'm strongly against doing things that involve other people art wise at the moment. So I think I'm going to stick to myself. No I am not going to glue my fingers together (intentionally).

3 years

So that's nice. Had a bit of a celebratory lunch.

Shower rave.

Was crashing but it's fine because I've drunk 7 coffees and had a 1 man rave in the shower so it is all happening for at least 17 minutes. Next time I shower at night I'm taking in a strobe light.

Animal dreams

Drew comics all night because I couldn't sleep. Meant to go to make pots in about 1 1/2 hours. Not sleepy but do have sore eyes. So it's hit and miss as to whether a snooze is on the cards...

Black swan

Re watched Black Swan last night. Still think it is an amazing film. It really is spectacular. I mean it is no Animal House, but still.

This is an old poster for pharmaceuticals. Which I think is quite fun really. It's like the lunesta adverts from America ( you can watch them on YouTube). They are fascinating really. Apparently Michael Alig paints pharmaceutical posters in prison, which is in a way quite funny.

Staying awake and doing tomorrow at night

Planned to climb the dust piggy colouring mountain on Sunday, however. Scratch that. Stayed up all night and did them. It's a good feeling. I have now reached the point where I'm tweaked on coffee and cold. Fancy a snooze. But it is improbable. Instead I might go for a walk in the rain. Quite like snoozing in other places. I think I'll go for a walk at 9am. Blow out the cobwebs.

Comic. My comic. Comic comic comic.

I really don't know how to make people look at my comic more, without resorting to spamming people. Which is annoying because I like it and I firmly believe that it is the voice of a generation*. Like the great gatsby or American psycho. It's not like I'm pushing crystal meth or anything. Just hamster cartoons. Lovely.



*hyperbole

JOIN THE DUST PIGGIES FACEBOOK PAGE!

Dust Piggies

or your friends will doubt you.

I might do some bovril printing.

It's a good material. In a way. And it is delicious to cats. I could put bovril onto stuff and get cats to lick it off, which would leave an imprint. And then draw with ink into the marks the cat makes.

This is hux. He's playing 'door stop' and thinking about the mark making that he's going to do for our colaboration.

Well

My minor secret project is refusing to dry. Kind of like when I tried to capture my bacon camera print in wood varnish. That didn't work at all though. Never dried. I hope i've thrown that out otherwise there is some terrifying rotten bacon somewhere. I need to do more stuff like that. The baconographic camera was genius. Just needed to set 'the print' in clear resin. Not varnish.

So anyway. Yeah. Project not drying yet. I need to buy some other stuff off eBay. I don't want to say on here in case the imaginary plan destroyers try to out bid me. I'm comforted greatly by how rational and sensible I sound.

Delicious

Goats cheese, wilted spinach and balsamic red onion.

Sometimes I wish I could take my trousers off in cafes. For belt line purposes.