i heard that people are made of like 40 percent water

so i'm going to drink a load of water and see if i turn into water.

here is a photo of some water.

sparrows ate my breakfast

i'm trying to draw from my subconscious. so far i am just making scribbles. i don't know if you'd call it abstract expressionism. personally i think i've gone to pittle. but i'm trying to do it on a sewing machine.

this is boring, i wouldn't bother reading it.

i am still not painting because i don't have the energy. started back at uni today and i apparently have to underpin my coming project with a philosophy that runs throughout it. said philosophy being underpinned with research and stuff. the thing is i don't appreciate the conceptual angle and talking bullshit around art. 'art' talk is normally a substitute for creative output. i am too tired all the time for that. i feel like i only have a certain amount of energy, and the painting and drawing i do is what i want to focus on. it is essentially the language. once i made a mad onion and smashed it up the face and it made me cry. and not just because of the amino acid sulfoxides.

yawn

this was from me rinsing out jess on cod4

nude at window (2009)

this is sewn. i did another one.

woman brushing her hair looking at the sky (2009)

woman with long hair brushing out the tangles.

sew-drawing

i am having a break from painting. so i thought i'd try some drawing with a sewing machine. and i've wanted to do some more classical subject matter. i was looking at some stuff for ideas and found Gustave Courbet (19th century realist painter) that made me want to do some drawings of nudes. so i tried to looked up some oldish photos on the internet (you know, like from before pornography was like viewing an autopsy) and did some drawing from them, however in the end i had to find some lines from realist paintings. felt inspired by classic beauty and femininity. feel a bit sick of implants on bleach blonde skeletons.

i dunno if it worked.

i used to do this writing as a child.

the ironic thing is that i had a more extravagant idea for this. oooh how deliciously ironic.

seriously. the voice i did that in, in my head, was funny.

punching a cow to get some milk

is like punching a crab to get some cheese. a good idea, but dangerous.

plumpness in the wind (2009)

swooping (2009)

keys that tell of longing (2009)

all the beautiful things you forget to say (2009)

paddling in the stream (2009)

4am

3 of the big music paintings are nearing completion. i can't sleep. the last of the outlayed 4, the last 1. is being a total bastard. he refuses to be painted. he's dysfunctional with my process. and i need to sleep. i need to finish these big works before firey ball set tomorrow. i need to be free from them.

birds around the car wash.

"is that a crisp in the car wash foam?" (2009)

Pecking in car wash foam (2009)

Leaving the car wash foam to its own business (2009)

who am i talking to? me. but hang on i am you. who me?

i couldn't sleep. i've now got 30+ paintings on the go. it might sound ludicrous and that i'm not giving them each enough attention. but that's not the case. i'm just filling the time i might normally leave for drying with working on the others. tomorrow i will clear some space to concentrate properly on the music paintings. the smaller, bright abstracts are going on the back burner and then i shall take a diving swoop into the birds project. which after revisiting the pigeons at close range for a few weeks on a wall might make the results more interesting. the seagulls lack the range of distances that the pigeons had, because i only reached the distance at the end of the pigeon project. the seagulls and the pigeons had opposing elements like the contrast of colour as well as reality of environment. in short, i'm hoping to pool the lessons learnt from them both into this project.

i was going to post a picture of the studio but there are too many paintings that i want to hold back from here until they are finished really. otherwise it's like showing everyone a half finished cake. sure you like eggs and flour and all that crap, but it's not a cake.

three of the new paintings.

i am a professional tennis player

i have started the birds project by finishing the one below. and i've slept about 45 minutes since monday. i am going to try and eat something and then i'm going to bed.

loitering beak (2009)

limited edition seagull badges

these badges are 25 mm. they are a limited edition of 50 of each design. i won't be making any more badges from these designs. so if you want one then probably best to get on with it because there are only about 70 left already.

1.53am

i have finally crashed and stopped painting. now to get some sleep. 4 main boards are 3:1 not great. and 1 is perfectly according to progress. maybe it's satisfaction is miring the progress of the others. destructive thinking there lad. go to bed.

lets all take comfort in the fact we knew it would come to this.

it's a crab with a mustache and that mustache has got a mustache. lets all just stay calm and come to terms with the fact that the world has changed. and i'm a bit overexcited.

don't panic.

this is a photograph of what would happen if a mustache grew it's own mustache. for my own sake i am not going to imagine what would happen if that mustache grew a mustache. because that is ludicrous.

actually now i'm freaking out because that is like looking into two mirrors that are positioned so that it's like looking into infinity. but that kind of limited infinity that is only within your actual imagination. if that makes sense. no? well why are you reading this tripe anyway.

mustache? no thanks i've already eaten.

i drew this whole picture. it's taken me the last 14 years and i can't even grow a decent mustache.

mustache.

note to self. dogs are not to wield power over mustaches.

this dog got this mustache and started try to do a david berkowitz on me and i wasn't having any of it. so i was like mhmm yeah well i'm not having any of this. and he was like you already said that and i was like woah you can read and/or control my mind? and he was yeah but i won't do misplace that power. next thing i knew i was making dog food out of my neighbours baldness and standing on stilts to smoke. the mystery continues.

please get off my sticky wicket.

this morning i was working on about 6-8 paintings. this evening there are 20 actively on the go. and i listened to africa on repeat all day. singing at full volume with the usual skill, i also sung the high pitched female vocals. i have take a photograph of it (see figure 1). and i'm losing my voice. i really need some drawing ink.

and i just tried to install printer drivers and it came up saying

would you like to print the license agreement?

i'm going to go with "yes. but how exactly the fudge am i going to do that."

figure 1.

note. imagine this with arrows, because i can't be bothered to draw them on. like a circular flow chart or someshit.

i won't eat salsa out of THAT jar again.

i tentatively poke my toe into my understanding of abstraction. having recently seen what i consider to NOT be abstraction, yet waving the banner.

"in real art, theory does not preceed practice, but follows her. Everything is, at first, a matter of feeling." -w.k

i am going to do some paintings that encompass a feeling, the emotionally relevant materialistic elements will be interpretable i think, but with more relevance to their correct spiritual usage in colour and placement. i am exhausted at i just had to wash paynes grey out from between my toes. if you know why then answers on a postcard.

mr kandinsky would you like a lunchable? oh it's made up of fake biscuit, fake ham and fake cheese. oh you would? splendid.

paint me onion

i snored myself awake on the train home. when i woke up i found that everyone around me had changed, probably because they got off at their stops. part of me hopes it was because of my snoring. like the time i slept for 18 hours in hospital and snored everyone else on the ward into insanity. snort.

i had a great holiday. i had a really nice break. we made half a film again, but a different film, which i'll try and finish back here. but i dunno. drew smiley faces on loads of stuff. ate lots of sushi. drew some pictures of hamsters. read a bit of a book. read a bit of another book. re-read all jess' vice magazines. i listed all the other stuff on the other post anyway i think.

i got home and immediately painted, but expected to be at the exact point i was before i left. but i wasn't. it was frustrating and also nice. it's good to know that you have to practise and work to be good at something. you can't just take it for granted. so i'm going to get back to work on the paintings tomorrow. i started 2 new big ones today. i have 1 that i am trying to finish and another canvas that i haven't quite started yet. i've got a bunch of small paintings on the go as well. actually technically they probably aren't on the go.

News from the front

I have been on a rather epic adventure. It is still on going. I've been drawing hamsters. There was a huge thunder storm, which we watched, there was loads of lightning and it was awesome.I bought a blue jacket that makes me look like a piano teacher. I cut my hair off. I bought a shirt. I have taken lots of pictures and I will do a proper update when I get home and have proper Internet access. Jess framed one of my hamster drawings and It looks really nice. Some of those drawings might get sold from my website soon. So If you want to know about it then go and sign up to the mailing list to get updates on what is happening then... do?

mix tape (2009)

i may be gone some time.

Scott of the Antarctic said that didn't he? or one of his cronies. and that guy went into the snow and never came back. they say he died, but i reckon actually he ate a polar bear and basically if you eat a viking or something it means you get their powers, like if they are good at jumping and taking off plasters. etc. so he ate a polar bear and then he became snow coloured and started dicking over penguins. so i'm going away. i might not update for sometime, depends on internet connection. here is a picture of a tape i did. it's like a video tape i think. or like a 8mm camera tape. tape tape tape. i thought i had tapeworms once. but then it actually turned out that i'd swallowed some dental floss.*

*no part of that statement is true.

plate island with mash potato volcano

with onion gravy lava and the villagers are the beans and the sausages are the fingers of the gods!

thinking about typing a letter to you (2009)

spontaflex in the blanket fort (2009)

t'bloody egg and chip butties

this was delicious. i tried to eat them with my eyes closed and while riding a unicycle but then i bashed my knee on a table. it was impossible. this was when i realised i'd have to imbibe my meal by suppository.