Exeter toilet review.

This objective scientific study will be graded on 1. Hygiene 2. Design. 3. Likeyhood of sexual assault.

Carluccios.



1. Hygiene was very good. Obviously frequently cleaned.
2. Design was very functional yet classy.
3. Sexual assault unlikely due to proximity to public area and good lighting.


Bushy area



1. Hygiene not great. Urine smell was what defined this as a toilet destination. V poor.
2. Designed as a wall with a bush alongside, as improvised toilets go not a great one. The cover was sparse.
3. Likelyhood of sexual assault. Fairly high.


Marks and Spencer's




1. Hygiene surprisingly poor. Floor was wet with urine and smelled.
2. Design. Similar to whole store, which I consider a mistake. Cafe and toilet same design stand? A no no.
3. Likelihood of misdemeanour sexual assault / harassment pretty high. A man brushed my buttock with his bag. The pervert.


Coal restaurant



1. Hygiene. You can even see urine stains in the photo. Poor.
2. Design. Horrible.
3. Chance of sexual assault. Disturbingly high. It was in a poorly lit basement. Meeting a dedicated pervert would be disastrous.


Shop doorway




1. hygiene. Poor. Smell of urine again more designating this a toilet area.
2. Design. As a toilet? Poor.
3. Chance of sexual assault. High. More chance of arrest really. Hopefully you'd be arrested before the assault took place.

And that is my report on exeter's toilet spots. Happy hunting.

This is a visual metaphor

So that is why this is probably my last blog post this year. Unless I do a photo update.

Went out for dinner

It was like a fucking age ago but didn't bother posting images. The reality is that I am not posting on my blog because I've got nothing positive to say about anything.

Post cards and a bit of pizza

Made a bunch of illustration size postcard drawings. They are mostly obscene. But it's fine because I'll never show anyone because nobody understands art. Because it's a made up word that means nothing.

Walked on moors like Kate bush

Then came home for vegetarian pork sausages and vegetarian potato mash. With vegetarian onion gravy.

I haven't eaten breakfast in ages.

Did potting. Didn't have my breakfast. Future mike your old breakfast is rotting in your bag. It's not actually your bag. So get on that yeah?

Wolf

A drawing from my amazing and appalling novel: the inimitable life of citizen trouser. The guardian didn't review it, but if they did I think it would be described as 'a searing journey through the noir of the mind'. They are a bit fruity like that.

Pottery :)

The beauty of a fresh canvasses. And the cold brings the ultimate hat and cardigan out of hibernation.

Quote

"there are a lot of books out there, but so many of them are not well written"

- Sara

Genius

"I feel really sorry for people who only know it's Christmas because bob Geldolf turns up"

- Jess.

A joke about a parrot.

An old lady buys a parrot second hand (if you can even do that?) and when she gets it home the parrot says

"ugh I don't want to live here your curtains fucking suck. You smell like mints. I love hitler"

And the old lady realises it is a rude parrot. So she puts him in the fridge to cool off a bit. After a while she goes back and the parrot is muttering:

"this is bullcrap. Old skank doesn't even have brand name ketchup. I'd rather have my toes burnt with cigarettes than live here. Hitler was awesome."

So she gives him more time to chill out. 10 minutes later she comes back and opens the fridge and the parrot comes out and is like...

"yeah totally sorry about before. Love the decor. I can't stand hitler. You seem nice. I've got to ask... What did the chicken do?"

Dust piggies in situ...

Finally got round to it.

Remember these?

Well I'm trying to make little tableau with them. Is tableau plural and singular? I neither know, nor care to find out.

Made some dust piggies poster

They look pretty nice. They are a3.

Drawing dust piggies today

"oh my god that nearly hit another country"

Had a 3 hour holiday on the coast. We threw rocks in the sea. Sat on the beach in the dark. Then went and had a nice dinner. Then came home. And obviously we went there in the first place. Jess got king prawns which she pulled to bits and wiggles their legs at me. I went to bathroom to hyperventilation.

Christmas show @ midcornwall galleries

Details on their and my websites. i think it starts on the 12th. Again, if you'd like to see my work in the flesh and you are able to get to it then it would be worth going.

11/11/11

“It was shortly after the British Red Cross arrived, though it may have no connection, that a very large quantity of lipstick arrived. This was not at all what we men wanted, we were screaming for hundreds and thousands of other things and I don’t know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the postmortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tattooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity.”

Christmas show

The Christmas show starts tonight @ the Artmill gallery in Plymouth. I have a variety of work in it. So it is worth going to look at if you want to see work in the paint. And there is ceramics work there too.

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