are all colours are fiction?

yellow seems deeply untrue at the moment. i can't seem to paint any yellow. looking around i'm not sure i even see yellow anymore. it all seems to be orange. there are more acid 'yellows' but they all seem synthetic. there aren't really any reds anymore. and looking around i don't think their are actually any colours at all. i want to paint bright and exciting paintings. but it all feels a bit like fiction. but the kind of fiction that has no basis in reality. like not written with words. i'm tired and confused. there, at some point, must be an acceptance for me that i'm writing in a non-existent language. like latin. no one really uses it, but our language now has a deep source in it. i think i'm contradicting myself now. i think what i'm saying is that i need to accept that colour is not reality and to try to enjoy fiction. but to try to anchor that fiction in something 'real' so i don't feel like it's bullcrap.