fish me

i've been underwater in the river 3 times in a week and it's undefinable. it's so peaceful and calming. today there were fish swimming around my fingers. these tiny little ones. today i finished the last of the current 8 60 x 60 paintings that were painted to steely dan. i freed up a lot on this final one. which was nice. i only say final as i always say it. it means nothing. if i get the urge i will do more. but it feels a bit like i've lost ownership of them. which sounds stupid really. the paintings that i'm trying to focus on are the ones that don't have any stability. or rigid stability to the point that i don't even want to work on them because they are monotonous. i've got a 90 x 90 that is all brown and i don't even want to look at it. but i'm using it to make me want to keep painting colour, motion and in a self examining way. other wise it's back to the brown. like doing lines when you are institutionally in trouble. or breaking rocks. anyway i'm not sure what i'm really talking about anymore, so i'll put up some pictures because no one reads this stuff if i write more than about 2 lines anyway.