There are two basic elements. Order and Disorder.
When "i" am in order, the painting, decoration and construction are disordered. The work flows and I can paint with colour, construct clay, sew and draw with a relative level of inhibition. This previously has always been the goal, to paint with as little inhibition as possible because honesty is always the point that i aim for when i create anything.
however, whenever "i" am in a state of Disorder (read into that what you will), the level of honesty becomes problematic, especially when i am trying to continue a painting or object that has begun in the other state, effectively making the work dishonest and unsatisfactory. The acceptance of these two different states requires that i examine the abilities that i possess while in a state of disorder. These abilities are not lacking in imagination or execution, but possess a totally different tonal and aesthetic discipline. The abilities are more centred in repetition, in images, motifs and tonal language. Essentially in Order.
Examining the work in an unbiased reviewing position is therefore impossible once one state has moved into the sphere of the other. This is another point which i need to accept and grow to understand with a view to be non judgemental of the two states and different results/products. Otherwise I am pushing a circular brick into a square hole.
The 'two states' are something which I, for obvious reasons have difficulty in differentiating (currently). This has been a fairly recent revelation to me, so I will be attempting to adjust my working practise to suit the two positions and evaluating which work falls into which category. If evidence for this theory would be needed, one would only need look at the Bird paintings from the last 2 years. There are very clear cut elements, that under the umbrella of the 'theme' have drawn together both the repetition and tone / colour and inhibition. Obviously there are also pieces that have been created in transitional periods and as such have some elements of either, but the incoming state is overpowering of the other, often to the point where only a minute spatter of colour in visible under the paint. It has often been in these transitional phases when out of frustration i have destroyed various canvases by trying to bully them into the incoming / present stage (these paintings obviously don't exist so cannot be held up for example).
I can't really draw this to any conclusion at this point, because it is by it's nature an ongoing investigation that will need time to try to understand and shape to my advantage.
Here are some pictures to make the idea of reading all this a bit more attractive.
